Hi. I'm Diane Kerner, author of My Own Medicine. To tell you about me is to mention that I love to read, kayak, garden and travel to Kauai as often as possible. I'm a Cirque Du Soleil fan of the biggest kind. When I'm near a body of water I love to squint my eyes all funny so I can see the squiggley dance of the sunlight on its surface. I love all critters everywhere (even the stinky ones) and find my God day after day after day in nature. I am at once passionate and sensitive, rarely relieved of my big feelings.
I got fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome in the late '80's. Up until that point I had been working in special education as a teacher, vocational counselor and school administrator for some 15 years. My older sister had died of leukemia in 1979 and my own experience of her death left an indelible stamp on my heart. I developed panic disorder. I felt awash in a soup of despair and a passionate need to know about life and death and what it all means.
Once I became ill I spent a long time figuring out how to go on. I quit my job and went on disability. I got married. I moved from California to Washington. I took care of orphaned animals and loved many people, places, animals, trees. Things were going on, right? Always, always those symptoms - low-grade fever, swollen and painful glands, insurmountable fatigue, pain in my toes, then hips, then shoulders. But as time moved forward I noticed longer remissions between symptomatic times and the symptoms themselves grew less severe.
I returned to work and in eensy steps spanning many years I reclaimed my life. I mean I resumed going out at night. I had friends over. I stopped needing medication to sleep. I discarded my by then deeply imbedded sense of myself as a sick person above all else.
One thanksgiving day after dinner I stepped outside for some fresh fall air and found myself running. I was running! I ran a half a block, a whole block, two blocks, three, four. It felt effortless. After I got home I did not "pay" for the running with a fresh rush of sickness. I took a hot bath and had some pie.
Living with a chronic illness I had stumbled through denial, fear, denial, anger, denial, defeat, more denial and - finally - some kind of grace came 'round and I found possibility. I wrote My Own Medicine and created this Web site to help others to discover this place of grace within themselves. To let go of the small-talk of the mind, suspend judgement, let go of expectations and in this moment right here focus your attention on something divine, funny, lovely, inspirational, soft, delightful, tastey, miraculous or otherwise awesome.
To your grace... -diane
"Diane Kerner has generously made her own healing process with CFS transparent in My Own Medicine so that others may benefit and be inspired for their own recovery from chronic illness. Through the course of her illness, we are able to observe Diane re-wire her entire internal circuitry, her relationship to self. Her illness forced her to start from scratch in developing a self-concept and a daily routine that was compatible with the capabilities of her body and also, a clear reflection of her spirit. Diane Kerner is like one of your good friends who is smart, honest and full of heart; she has the rare ability to show her thinking; and you can trust her intention to help. If you or a family member has chronic illness, this book will help validate and empower the internal process that can deliver one out of suffering. If you are a health care provider, this book will bring encouragement and insight to your patients: it is very good medicine." -Joyce Greenberg, Acupuncturist
