We know that stress plays a role in just about every physical imbalance known to man - perhaps every one. Stress can create imbalances and it also exacerbates flare-ups, symptoms or the degree of the imbalance every time we encounter it.

Stress can be physical (as in too much exercise), mental (as in studying for a test, too much Sudoku or the NY Times crossword puzzle) and emotional (from difficult people in our lives to grief over the loss of someone loved).

Studies have indicated that our state of mind when eating a meal influences how we digest it. It's believed in some cultures that the state of mind of the person preparing the food makes such a difference as well.

A recent study by the CDC revealed that people with CFS have genes in the brain that are mutated in such a way that they affect our ability to handle and to rebound from stress. A strong correlation to early childhood trauma was noted many years ago. I think as time goes by, we will be learning a lot more about the role stress plays in our health.

As someone who is ill, stress is an area that must be attended to. Yes, we should all reduce our stress. Some things we can change, some we can't. No matter, it seems that some stress is inevitable.

We can start be eliminating the words "should, must, shouldn't and mustn't" from our vocabulary.

In My Own Medicine I speak about cleaning out my sock drawer and how I discard unmatched sets, ones I don't like any more, ones that are too scratchy or have holes in them. I can look at the rest of my life the same way. People. Places. Things. Do they itch or do they comfort? Do they leak or keep you dry? Are they a good match for you? And so on. Keep only what nurtures, supports and sustains where you have a choice.

Some people in your life may turn out to be toxic to you. When you are in any type of relationship, interaction with others should enhance and validate you, not diminish you and how you feel about yourself. You have to decide how you'll handle the latter.

In addition, some things or ways of doing things may not be serving you. Maybe you are a perfectionist, which doesn't normally serve anyone much, and it's in your best interest to work on that.

Creating a good quality of life is challenging yet essential work for those of us with a long-term illness. There are many ways we can approach this, all of which ultimately increase pleasure and decrease stress.

Financial wealth experts say to always pay yourself first and I think that's fabulous advice for us to follow in a different sense. We pay ourselves first by using whatever energy we have pursuing pleasurable, life-affirming, stress-busting, beautiful moments. We fill our heads with positivity, silliness, sensuality and intellectual stimulation. We teach ourselves to re-create and re-define our lives in a way that supports our growth and comfort as opposed to clinging to what once was.

some stressbusters

watch comedies and sitcoms at the movies or on television
people-watch at celebratory events and festivals
create a library of uplifting music on your IPod or a CD
read humorous or inspirational (not too heavy!) books
learn cognitive behavioral therapy and practice it
have light-hearted company come over for tea
time-out the news - magazines, papers and television
relax in a hot bath with lavendar aromatherapy
phone an amusing friend
let yourself off the hook from your to-do or should-do list and relax in your pjs with a compelling novel
hug a pet

Be sure to visit the Joy page, as joy is one of the best stress-busters available to us. If you love chamomile tea, you get joy and reduced stress all in one! If we fill our cups with joy, there is less room for stress.

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